praise to ALLAH that i am still be able to read, write, walk, talk, see and many more. He is the GREAT! YA ALLAH, i miss my family, my best friend, my secondary friends. i do miss them very very much. i miss them sooooo much! i don't have anyone to talk to. weird isn't it? it's true. some might say, " u look happy, like nothing bad happens to you. ". yeah.kind of but i am a human. normal human. i am not a heartless device. i have feelings. not all the time that i could be happy. it is definitely a lie if i said i am totally happy from days to days. even so, i don't find any of my friend here who can hear my problem. it is not that they are not listening. what i meant is, i need time to tell them. there are really few of my friends who i feel very comfortable to talk to. even my close friend, i rarely tell them my problem. i am, some times a very mysterious person. i love to keep the problem within myself, in my brain and my heart. that way is better for me,i guest. not to worry. this thing only happens for 10 minutes. at the end of this post, i feel neutral. i am not happy nor sad.  :D thnx for reading.

to go or not to go?

" ANDA SEMUA DIJEMPUT HADIR 

UNTUK MENONTON SEDUTAN FILEM

INNOCENCE OF MUSLIM DI SURAU 

AL-HIDAYAH PADA MALAM INI

JAM 9-10 MLM"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mata Aqidah tertancap pada kertas yang ditampal pada papan kenyataan itu.

Filem yang menjadikan semua umat Islam bangun menentang sang durjana pengarah filem

hatta, pelakonnya yang berstatus Islam sekalipun.

Mengapa muslim terlibat? Hanya ALLAH yang tahu.

INNOCENCE OF MUSLIM bakal ditayangkan,

Hatinya melompat-lompat gembira, berbunga riang kerana mendapat peluang 

menonton filem itu.

Bukan Aqidah tiada inisiatif untuk menontonnya di youtube , 

cubaannya beberapa hari lalu untuk menonton filem itu di youtube 

nyata sekali menghampakan kerana filem itu sudah diremove ..

Dia tidak mahu menjadi org celik yang buta, mahupun org boleh mendengar tetapi tuli

apatah lagi org yg boleh berkata2 tetapi bisu.

" AKU PERLU TONTON FILEM INI!"

Jerit Aqidah dalam hati.

Usai meeting bersama Rakan Masjid di masjid lama,

Aqidah bergegas ke surau AL-HIDAYAH. 

Dia tidak mahu ketinggalan untuk menyaksikan filem itu.

Keinginannya untuk menonton filem itu melebihi keinginannya untuk menonton filem OMBAK RINDU,

filem yang dilakonkan oleh artis kegemarannya, Aaron Aziz.

:: 9.30pm ::

Alhamdulillah. tayangan masih belum bermula. "Mula lambat agaknya," getus Aqidah dalam hati.

...

Benar!!!! Memang sepatutnya umat Islam bangkit menentang org yg kufur. 

Pilu hatinya mengenangkan cara kafir laknatullah menghina Rasulullah.

Salah siapa? Salah si kufurkah atau salah umat Islam sendiri yang 

membuka pintu penghinaan terhadap Rasulullah.

Baru beberapa hari lepas Aqidah melihat saudara muslimnya membuang 

sampah ikut suka. Lebih mendukacitakan apabila yang mengutipnya adalah

Susan, non-muslim. Apakah itu teladan yang baik?

....

Lamunan Aqidah terhenti apabila namanya disebut..

1)NUR AQIDAH NABIHAH

2)NURUL UMMI NAJIHAH

3) SITI NURAIN AMIRA

NAQIBAH: KAK HELIZA

APAKAH??

Naik juling mata Aqidah menahan ngantuk. Jam menunjukkan hampir 11.30 pm.

Aktiviti halaqah seakan tidak akan berhenti dalam masa terdekat. Terpaksa pula menyertai diskusi

tentang CABARAN DAN CARA MENYEBARKAN DAKWAH. 

Secara jujurnya memang Aqidah rasa terpaksa. 

Mata yang semakin mengecil dikelip-kelipkan supaya tak 

tersungkur di situ. Atas dasar menghormati majlis, dia meneruskan diskusi itu walau hatinya meronta-ronta 

ingin bermanja dengan katilnya di bilik. Dia tetap sabar dan tabah.

"AKU KALAU DAH NGANTUK MEMANG HILANG LA IKHLAS TU, BILA NAK HABIS NI?!!"

Jerit Aqidah dalam hati dengan harapan seseorang akan mendengar rintihannya itu.

memang tak lah kannn..

 ::12.30 am ::

Aktiviti Halaqah berhenti setakat ini.

Alhamdulillah. Akhirnya.

Dia gembira tetapi pada masa yang sama 

runsing memikirkan satu  perkara.

"Akak nak buat perjumpaan halaqah setiap hari Rabu antara maghrib dan isya', 

kita buat sharing session," 

aduh. Runsing-runsing.

Bukan mahu menolak tetapi Aqidah tidak suka perasaan terikat.

Ianya akan menjadi lebih baik sekiranya ditambah " terpulang lah kalau nak join."

That would be her last time  participation in halaqah. That's it but then Kak Heliza keep on bothering her. She can not handle too many things in a time. She already have 2 usrah's group and she is very comfortable with the groups she already have. The way of attracting peoples that has been done by Kak Heliza is not the right way. Peoples feels burden by it. It is no fun at all. An obvious different between the Usrah(s) and halaqah. 

This feeling is not feels by Aqidah only, but  her friends feel the same thing.

No one said Halaqah peoples are wrong but the way they attract peoples are wrong.

" LA IKRAHA FID-DIN".

In a way,  they have the content. a very good content but somehow 

Aqidah feels that her privacy have been taken away when Kak Heliza freely comes to her room,

sleeping in her room and whatsoever.

She has the common sense to treat guests nicely but in the same time,she feels guilty 

to her roommate as her roommate is not comfortable when someone not invited comes to the room.

The room is not her's alone. 

first meeting is okay,

second okay,

third quite okay,

forth?

she can not answer it.

it feels like she has to transfer a rock from a mountain to another mountain. it is hard.

her heart is not there anymore.

She is just trying to be nice.

she feels burden by it but when it comes to any activity regarding the Usrah(s),

she feels so happy.

The matter of heart is more complicated than an ordinary differential equation.

Aqidah try to ask her friend(s) on what is the best decision. 

TO GO OR NOT TO GO TO THE HALAQAH MEETING

as she does not feel comfortable with the group.

....

After a very long discussion with her friends,

She made a decision which is to commit Usrah(s) but she is not totally reject the Halaqah.

She choose the priority and will go to Halaqah if she feels to do so.

--The End--